7 Habits--Being Proactive

I will admit that to me, being proactive appears to be a difficult task.  The whole idea that you can choose your reaction to a situation is hard to wrap my mind around.  I tend to be frustrated when things do not go as I had planned on, and I'm often exasperated by uncooperative/annoying people.  Clearly, this is a reactive approach to life.

Reading the section about reactive language caused me to furrow my brow in puzzlement.  Phrases like "he makes me so mad" and "I don't have enough time" never struck me as reactive; they just seemed like human phrases, and never really struck me as being environmentally deterministic.  I always figured that if you don't have enough time it was because you used your time ineffectively.  I suppose a truly proactive person would say something like "I will use my time efficiently to achieve this goal in addition to my other goals."  I dunno.  I'm not sure I have ever seen/heard anyone like that.  

Something I am better at doing is working within my circle of influence.  I have always been effective at discerning things I can influence and things I have no control over, and never really stressed about that.  It is a problem I see in many people, however.  Stress management is an incredibly important skill, the one most people lack.  Life, especially as an Army officer, is full of stressors.  Dealing with them in a productive way is vital to maintaining mental health.  Determining whether something is inside or outside your influence is a good way to do so.  Work on what you can do, don't worry about the rest.

Something about proactivity stumped me: how does it apply in a military setting?  In the army we have to follow orders whether we think the mission is stupid or not.  Proactivity supposedly puts you in control of the situation, but isn't that just an illusion in a military hierarchy?  We can choose our attitude toward the mission sure; a positive attitude towards the mission will disseminate to the troops making them (hopefully) more combat effective.  But we are not truly in control of the situation.  For example, I was put on a color guard on Feb 14.  Being Valentine's Day, I would much rather be spending the time with my girlfriend, but this is not to be.  Even if I have a positive attitude, this situation is still not ideal.  What is the best way to be proactive in this situation?